i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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