He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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