Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
