This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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