You smell like stripper and shame
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always time for handjobs
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize