i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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