No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
