Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
