dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize