I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
