A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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