I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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