my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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