week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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