Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
