D3 body, D1 cock
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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