Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
