Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
