After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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