Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
