Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
