I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
