watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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