know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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