Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
