porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
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and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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