That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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