So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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