I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
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last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize