fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm getting married
To pizza
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
