Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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