VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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