this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
