At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
