I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
