@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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