Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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