Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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