pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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