this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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