Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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