I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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