its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
