So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
