Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize