Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I supernannyed him into submission
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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