I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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