im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
