So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
