On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
