its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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