i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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