i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
