If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
