At least make sure they are 18
Why
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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