is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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