On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
