U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
