when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
