You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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