god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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