her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
its not stalking. its research.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize