Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
