So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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